Nik’s a farm boy now, which means he gets to see all the fun stuff that happens in the wild. Note: it’s usually not very fun. Also not fun is becoming a Wendigo and eating people, though that’s probably not going to happen. Probably.
If you want to get fit after your whirlwind tour of local fast food places, join the Marines. Then you can write a book. It’s happened at least twice before, minus the fast food part, as far as we know.